Four Island

Yes, I am going to yell at Apple in this post. But, first of all, let me make something clear: while I have been largely negative toward Apple in the past (and I still am apathetic towards the Mac, which was my original target), I love my iPod touch. I don't know how I lived without it. I mean, as I type this, I am on vacation, at a hotel, swinging on a swing while listening to music. I know, right? :P (Though I really do want an iPhone; I mean, seriously, Internet everywhere? Awesome!)

But right now, I'm fairly annoyed at them. On July 31st, I got two iTunes giftcards and used $5.99 off one of them to purchase an upgrade to Palringo Premium (a version of Palringo, an awesome instant messaging app for iPhones, that has features that I need like Message Logging :P). My account was debited, but I never received the upgrade. Shock. And horror, I guess. I tried to report this to Apple, but when I went to iTunes to do so, the link simply sent me to Apple's support site. What? Something was definitely wrong, because if I tried to report a problem with any other purchase, it would let me. This made me very angry. I sent an email to Palringo's support team and have not yet received a response. A response better come or else.... I'LL START SINGING KATE NASH SONGS! :P

Anyway, on a lighter note, I did something yesterday that made me love my iPod even more. That's right, I jailbroke it. :P I had been trying to find a way to jailbreak my iPod, but newer iDevices (iPhone 3GS, iPhone 4, iPod touch 2 MC model and iPod touch 3) with iOS 4 had no available jailbreaks and I was sad. However, when I was searching around again yesterday, I found something amazing. A brand new (it literally came out like yesterday or the night before) userland jailbreak for nearly every iDevice, compatible with iOS 4.

I think, at that point, I started jumping around and spitting out my cream soda, which was a bit of a shame because you can't get cream soda anywhere and I do love it. The best part of this jailbreak, though? IT'S SO EASY. You literally just have to open a page in Safari, slide a bar to the right to activate the jailbreak and wait a few minutes. You will likely have to retry quite a few times because the jailbreak is brand new and the servers are clogged (rebooting helps too), but it's soooooo worth it. Here, read this tutorial.

Anyway, now I have something that makes me happy. And what's that? LIVE SCROBBLING ON MY IPOD OH YEAH FIRE MUFFINS. Seriously, I told you before, I'm insane. And the iPod scrobbler that I used to have to use on my computer would either scrobble each song far too many times or take a very long time doing the right job. And either way would result in completely falsified timestamps because the iPod could only track the last listen of a song. Now, with the Scrobbl app, songs are scrobbled AS I LISTEN TO THEM and if I don't have WiFi at the moment, it'll queue the songs for scrobbling for the next time I am connected. THIS.... THIS IS JUST AWESOME. GIVE ME A HUG, SCROBBL. GIVE ME A HUG.

Anyway, I am very excited about that and doing more jailbroken-y things on my iPod. What's that? I could do what? I COULD MAKE APPS FOR MY IPOD NOW?!?!? Yes, that would be AWESOME: I could make apps for my iPod now that it's jailbroken! I could totally write Maze Of Life or something, create my own Cydia repository and put it up! IT WOULD BE GREAT-TASTIC! Of course, I'd have to learn Objective-C and all of Apple's garbage APIs, but wouldn't it be fun to develop apps for the iPod? Yes, WOULDN'T IT?!?!?!?

Oh, by the way, that reminds me: I've had a new version of Maze Of Life that I've been meaning to release for quite a while. I should do that soon. :P

Lol, the poll has finished! Sorry to those not in the know (basically everyone), but this poll is the result of a combination of two inside jokes that you would probably be better off not knowing. Anyway, here are the results!

What's your favorite shirt from Gap Senile? "Help, I'm Lost" - 0 vote(s)! "Excuse Me, I Need Some Ice Cream. Here's My Wallet; Can You Help?" - 2 vote(s)! "Do You Know What My Name Is? Please?" - 3 vote(s)! "I Gotta BM" - 1 vote(s)!

This week's poll is a bit silly too, but it's actually a bit relevant as well! Did you hear? Starfall, the story that Drifty, TimTam and I have been collaboratively writing for THE PAST TWO YEARS (TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME :P) is finally up to the final chapter! And who has the ominous Chapter 10 been assigned to? Oh god, it's me. :P NAG ME, NAG ME, NAG ME IN THE COMMENTS! :P

Another note: I HAVE BEEN VERY LAZY RECENTLY. And by recently, I MEAN ABOUT A YEAR. I haven't done any real, solid programming since InstaDisc fell through (apart from some short-lived attempts at creating The TGS Website). WHY IS THAT? Something needs to be done here, but mailing me flaming crates of C4 is really messy, so we're going to have to find a different way. Yeah. fizzles out

Anyway, CAPTION'D TIME! :D

Prozac

Phone Service

On a random final note: I changed my fourm avatar to Kate Nash (WHO IS AWESOME)! That, plus Twitter, says that there's going to be another music review soon! Actually, there will be two because I have recently acquired two CDs (and possibly a third in a few hours :P). Anyway, runs away

Hello, it's me again! Before you scream and run away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away ha ha, they're coming to take me away, LISTEN. Yes, I'm ranting about something in uppercase letters that doesn't pertain to the English language. Shock and horror.

Anyway, this rant is mainly about my "No WWW" policy and EDUCATING the CHILDREN with THE TRUTH. THAT'S RIGHT LITTLE JOHNNY, THAT WASN'T SANTA CLAUS UNDER THE MISTLETOE! IT WAS YOUR REAL FATHER! Um, anyway, I felt the need to do this because first of all, I run Four Island at a Class B no-www compliance level and I've never actually talked about it and because last week, after explaining a bit about how the World Wide Web was not the same thing as the Internet to my cousin, she rebounded with this: "So, does that mean that Four Island isn't part of the World Wide Web because it doesn't have a www?"

No, Keke Palmer, it doesn't. (Lol, seriously, no offense, I like ranting! PLEASE DUN KILL ME- static) Let's begin with what a URL actually needs to be part of the World Wide Web. No, it's not the "www.", it's the "http://" that most people have only seen in their community college's Computing 101 course where they get to learn how to increase the font size in Microsoft Internet Explorer 2.03. The World Wide Web (which was invented by Tim Burners Lee, who is awesome) actually goes by another, less common to non-techy people, name: The Hypertext Transfer Protocol. I'm not really going to go into it much because I'm afraid my popcorn will get cold but basically, the Internet is full of many, many different ways to transfer information and the way you use the Internet to see webpages is HTTP. That's what that "http://" in front of URLs means; that it's going to let you see a webpage or a picture or a sound file. Or a picture of a sound file... or something like that. The reason that it's necessary is because, as I said earlier, there are many different ways of transferring information on the Internet and you have to tell your computer which one you want. However, many people don't know this because most web browsers created after 1650 automatically add the "http://" if you "forget" (read: don't realize the existence or necessity of) it.

On the other hand, there's "www." I have witnessed some horrible things with "www."s such as someone reciting a link to someone at a computer and the person at a computer MANUALLY ADDS IN a www. even if the other person didn't say to add one. I see people go "Hey, let's Google that" (which, by the way, you shouldn't say because it's trademark infringement (yes, I went the Googleplex last week and it was awesome (YOU GET FREE CANDY AND SODA! SO WORKING THERE! :P))) and go to their computer and type in "WWW.GOOGLE.COM". Yes, in all caps, but that's not the point; the point is that they added four completely unnecessary characters to what they had to type WHICH MADE THEM MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO CARPEL TUNNEL! SEE, FOLKS? USING WWW. IN FRONT OF EVERY URL CAN KILL YOU! DON'T DO IT!

The use of "www." in front of URLs most likely came from the old standard of putting your servers at subdomains corresponding to their function, such as "www" for web servers, "mail" or "smtp" for email servers and "ftp" for FTP servers. However, THIS ISN'T NECESSARY! IT'S JUST A STANDARD! In fact, as some of you may know, if you leave out the www. in a URL.... IT WILL STILL WORK! OH MY GOD! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?! It's possible due to a magical thing call DNS and the kindness of your local detergent salesperson.

The reason why I don't like "www."s is because it makes me angry when I see people think that it's necessary and that the Internet is the same thing as the World Wide Web and was invented by some guy named Bob. I'm sure some guy named Bob has set up an intranet in his local laundromat that wants to go "TOTALLY DOT COM", but he didn't invent The Internet. Also, I think domains look prettier without the "www." in front. www.fourisland.com. fourisland.com. Yeah, someone's winning Hottest Domain Of The Year.

Also, while, I'm at it, no, Obama does not have a button that can turn off the Internet. There is no conspiracy or CIA cover-up because IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT BLOWING UP PLANET EARTH. (However, you could theoretically disable the Internet for people who aren't insane and memorize IP addresses by blowing up the 13 root nameservers of the Internet, but they're heavily protected (seriously, people have tried to attack them. Twice). Wow, that would be an AWESOME movie: "NO! WE HAVE TO SAVE THE INTERNET!!!! NAMESERVER G IS GOING DOWN! HAND ME THAT ETHERNET CABLE! WHY ISN'T DMAP INSTALLED ON THIS COMPUTER?!?!?")

I'm sorry, I'm off to file copyright papers. That idea is just too awesome to let go.

OH MY GOD, it's time for the judging! And..... SALLY COHN WON! YAY :D. :P

Who do you think should have gone on in this week's America's Got Talent? Sally Cohn - 1 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 2 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 1 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 2 vote(s)!

Anyway, I think this week was marginally better than last week. Actually, it was a lot better because I actually posted a longish not-insane post on time-ish. And I'm on time with this post too. Anyway, I'm NOT AT CAMP ANYMORE YAY LIQUIDS and I will be back in New York shortly! WHICH MEANS YOU GET TO READ MORE INSANE THINGS FROM ME YAY- shot

Okay, ignoring that, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR WEEKLY CAPTION'D FIX! :D

Change In "Style"

Hissy Fit

YAY! Anyway, see you next week PEOPLES. COFFEE.

Sorry for the Smiley-worthy pun in the title, but it's here! Another music review by meee! :D And it's coming from basically nowhere: We Are Born by Sia! Let me explain a bit. I am obsessed with Last.fm because I am insane and one day, it suggested that I listen to Sia because I liked Imogen Heap. Well, I mentally noted that, but didn't do anything about it. A few days/weeks later, I was on my iPod when I saw an album called "We Are Born" by "Sia" in the new releases list and I remembered what Last.fm had said. A few days later, while in Australia, I walked into a Borders and heard a couple of songs from the album playing and quickly changed my tact (I had walked in to buy a book and to get a plastic bag) and purchased the album.

Yeah, by the end of two weeks, Sia had entered my top eight on last.fm and actually, as of today, she is now number three with 215 listens. Yes, I'm insane, but I'm not the only one because after not being able to prevent myself from singing a few of the songs while around my friends, two of my friends also became obsessed with it and I lent them the CD. :P SHARING IS CARING- shot

Anyway, this is one of the best albums I have listened to in quite a while and I'm really expecting it to get a good score on my review. Let's do it, then, okay? :P

1. The Fight - The album starts with a chorus of children chanting the album's title and cheering. Sia enters with her distinctive vocals and everything flows very nicely to the glowingly bright chorus. It's a bit difficult to sing in the car (We made it through the darkness to the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!), but it will doubtless stay in your head all day. 5 stars
2. Clap Your Hands - This song is Sia's only official radio single so far from We Are Born and originally, I didn't like it so much. My favorite part, though short, is definitely the pre-chorus, where the mood of the song darkens a bit and Sia's bright vocals dip into a short ballad on misery. Soon, however, the song lights up again with the chorus, which really has grown on me. 4 stars
3. Stop Trying - One of my favorite songs on the album (and one of the songs that snagged my friends as well), Stop Trying immediately hooks you in by starting out with a dampened version of the unforgettable chorus. It comes back later with spirit later and after hearing it 6 times, you won't be able to stop singing it. I see the song as a plea to stop trying to be someone else because people love you already. 5 stars
4. You've Changed - What's interesting about this song is that is appears to be sending a message that completely contradicts the previous song. Regardless, Sia's bright vocals and a toe-tapping background track will keep you coming back to listen. 5 stars
5. Be Good To Me - I won't hide it, nearly every album (except Speak For Yourself by Imogen Heap and It's Not Me, It's You by Lily Allen) has a dud track. Granted, it's not horrible, and in fact, just listening to it now is making me like it a bit more. Anyway, it's a slow ballad fueled by an almost angry, yet broken Sia. It starts out pretty well with a soothing, yet captivating background track, however, as you get into the song, Sia starts yelling a bit more which just doesn't sound that great from her. 3 stars
6. Bring Night - Like nearly every album has a dud track, nearly every album has a standout and Bring Night is the clear winner of Best Song Of The Album. It begins dark and low with Sia almost muttering the easily to memorize verses and, before you know it, EXPLODES into the chorus which are as cheery and as beautiful as they are thankfully easy to remember (Chase your shadow 'til the sun goes down!). Then, Sia finishes the chorus off with a warbling cry before sinking back into the next verse. But don't worry, the chorus comes back again twice. Bring the night on. You could dance to this song just as easily as you could to any Lady GaGa song. My favorite song on the album, and most certainly the one that hooked my friends. 5 stars
7. Hurting Me Now - An upbeat song with doubtlessly darker undertones, Hurting Me Now is a song about someone who hurts you without even knowing it. Like pretty much every other song so far, the chorus really stays with you. 5 stars
8. Never Gonna Leave Me - Another of my favorite songs from the album. Never Gonna Leave Me starts with more of Sia's upbeat vocals and music before launching into the fast-paced chorus (Now that I've taken your love from above, you're here and you're never gonna leave me!) which, dare I say it again, is bound to get stuck in your head. Oh, what else can I say? LISTEN TO IT. :P 5 stars
9. Cloud - This song starts out very dark and gloomy, like the title of the song. However, Sia soon breaks out into the sun with the beautiful, meaningful chorus (I am a dark cloud swelling with raiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!). You know what I'm going to say. Sing it in the car, folks. 5 stars
10. I'm In Here - We Are Born is mainly upbeat; though that is not without exceptions. I'm In Here is inherently depression, yet beautiful and though it may make you feel sad, it's quite singable. There's also a Piano Vocal version on the CD version of the album, so if you like to play the piano, it may be worth trying to learn this song. 5 stars
11. The Co-Dependant - Returning to the land of upbeat songs, The Co-Dependant is about someone who is so deeply in love that they ignore their partner's faults. It's quite good. Oh, just listen to it, I'm turning into a broken record. :P 4 stars
12. Big Girl Little Girl - Okay, the first time I listened to We Are Born, I was on an airplane. To Australia. Yeah, and it was long and painful and I listened to the album because I thought it would be awesome. It was, but by the end of the album, I was sort of falling asleep and I sort of missed out on the last few songs. Because of this, I didn't really appreciate Big Girl Little Girl (or Oh Father) that much until I started listening to the songs with my friends and I realized that this song is really quite awesome. I'm not going to go rant about the yummy upbeat chorus and all because you can see it coming; let's skip to the end of the song. There's a beautiful, slow repeated block of song that you really have to listen to (You know with every cruel word that you utter / That you bury yourself even deeper every time...). 5 stars
13. Oh Father - This song is the only unoriginal song on Sia's album as it is actually a cover of an old Madonna song. After listening to Sia's beautiful rendition of the song a few times, I decided to listen to the original for comparison and I'm sorry but it doesn't hold up in the least compared to Sia's version. It's so beautifully done and Madonna's is so.... fake? I don't know, it just feels fake in the wake of Sia's heartfelt version. Okay, just.... just listen to the whole album, okay? :P 4 stars

Wow. This is just amazing. If we average my ratings together, We Are Born gets a 4.2 out of 5 stars. That's much higher than the ratings for my other albums. Yeah, this album is good. Go listen to it. Lol, sorry I'm so braindead in this post but I'm a bit busy and a bit insane about other things. LISTEN TO WE ARE BORN! Now. :P

Horray! People actually care about what I write! It's a shock! I never knew! Yeah, um, read the results:

Do my music reviews actually make you want to listen to the music? BUT OF COURSE hums Let Go - 3 vote(s)! WHAT? NO! - 2 vote(s)! You.... review music? - 3 vote(s)! Indifferent - 1 vote(s)!

Yes, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK. I HAVE BEEN A FAILURE. THROW FRUIT AT ME. Yes, I know, I'm horrible. But I'm going to be pulling excuses out of thin air again. Yes, IT'S NOT MIDNIGHT YET IN MY TIMEZONE! Please dun kill me! :P Besides, I warned that this month would be a bit wavy. Sorry! Next month will be better! I'm also sorry that I haven't posted my music review that I've been promising yet. I've written most of it, so you may be able to expect it this week! :P

And as for this week's poll, well, it was for the lulz. Sort of. I was being forced to watch America's Got Talent and I saw Sally Cohn, a ~70 year old hand-whistler and she was so heart-meltingly sweet and the act was actually good. Lol, I know I'm a big softy (sometimes), but it sort of killed me when she didn't go through, so I made this poll! Yes, please laugh at me. :P

Anyway, here's this week's Caption'd posts:

Unidentified Globs Of Goooo!

Offensive Odor

So, this week will probably be as bad as last week, but hopefully not! And remember, whatever you do, make sure you vote for Sally Cohn in this week's poll! :P

Let me start off by saying that I don't like soccer. In fact, I don't like sports at all (unless you count competitive typing (98 WPM, YEAH! :P)), but even I know about....

THE VUVUZELAS.

Apparently, they're annoying.

Some of you may be lolling right now, but it's not funny! Those poor people sitting in the stands, trying to watch some stupid ball sport should be pitied! What, the people who don't like vuvuzelas? Heck no, I know a vuvuzela-hater that owes me five bucks. They can go eat pasta with NO BUTTER for all I care.

I mean the poor people who like vuvuzelas! It's so sad to see it happen. Because, they're everywhere. That old lady who walks down the street by the side of the supermarket every day at 2pm? SHE'S A VUVUZELOR! That toddler who pees in your petunias every five minutes? A VUVUZELOR! That high school junior that lives across the street from you? Not a vuvuzelor, but he's a pervert, so you can go stab him if you wish. But you get my point. These poor people have been INFECTED with the CURSE of believing that vuvuzelas are ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

I'm sorry you had to see that. My imaginary cat jumped on my hard drive and ate a cookie. As a result, I can't tell you exactly how the vuvuzelor virus works. BUT BEWARE. Next time you are walking down the street and someone is internally bleeding because they just ripped their larynx out with their vuvuzela, DON'T GET TOO CLOSE! You could catch the virus from their disease-ridden instrument! Or you could lose your aural sense, which would also be pretty bad, BUT NOT AS!

So, buyer beware and welcome to Grammatown. Stay away from vuvuzelas, because otherwise, I'll write another weird story like this. And next time, it'll be about you, your mom and your embarrasing foot rash. Oh-yeah. Pokemon.

The results of this poll have been largely inconclusive due to the fact that not a lot of people have iOS 4 or even an iPod touch/iPhone. However, it seems that the people who so largely like it, and the problems I had with it are slowly disappearing (new versions of Byline and Palringo!), so yay!

How has iOS 4 been to you? Nice, yo - 4 vote(s)! CRASH - 2 vote(s)! I... I don't have it! - 5 vote(s)! Indifferent - 1 vote(s)!

Okay, sorry about the rush again, but due to my current circumstances, I have to use my iPod touch to use the Internet, which I billow ends because I have s big post planned for this week. Anyway, time for Caption'd:

Abstinence Police

Regret

OH MY GOD THIS ONE ANNOYS ME VERILY. Okay, so, do you have any younger siblings or sapient pets that have a VERY LOOSE GRASP ON THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I actually have a couple of those (guess which) and while they are very good as a source of content for my RANDOM ENGLISH RANTs, their vehement denial that their English is incorrect makes me want to take up bulldozing and drop a mastodon on their rooms. Here is their latest English horror that makes me cry:

**Starla**: None of your friends have email?
**Younger Sibling Or Sapient Pet**: All of my friends don't believe in Internet.
*** Starla** starts screaming and shooting
**Starla**: NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS BELIEVE IN INTERNET. NONE NONE DOOMSDAY HAS FALLEN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES- *shot*

While that is a bit exaggerated, my point is sort of clear. While combining "all" and a negative verb like "don't" may actually be grammatically correct as I cannot currently find anything on it, IT SOUNDS QUITE HORRIBLE. JUST SAY NONE. JUST SAY NONE. JUST LIKE YOU WOULD SAY NO TO DRUGS. JUST SAY NONE. IT'S A FEWER NUMBER OF WORDS! ISN'T THAT BETTER OR SOMETHING? JUST SAY NONE. SAY IT NOW.

Here are some practice questions to test your new knowledge. If the sentence is incorrect, correct it, otherwise, write "Correct."

1. All of my friends hate you.
2. None of those potatoes have been washed recently.
3. Coach Z looks fat in that photo.
4. All of those tapes must give us dogs.

Okay, I couldn't bring myself to type THE INCORRECTION, regardless of the fact that I did earlier in that semi-fabricated conversation I had with my younger sibling or sapient pet. Anyway, I hope that by now, I've successfully established myself as a prescriptivist. Thank you for your time.

Lol, fairly varied response to this question, but the resounding opinion is NO! WE HAVEN'T AN INKLING OF YOUR OMNIPUS! :P Whut.

Does Ubuntu 10.04 annoy you too? WHY YES IT VERILY DOES - 2 votes! Um... no... - 0 votes What on earth is that? - 3 votes Indifferent - 4 votes

Yes, anyway, I'm still in Australia and I don't have a very reliable Internet connection (this was typed painstakingly on an iPod), so I'm just going to have to go to Caption'd now. Oh, and you should expect another CD review to come soon :P

Pizza Delivery

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