Four Island

While I love my newly jailbroken iPod, I really do have to say that I think the word "jailbreak" was a poor choice for the process of opening up your iPod. To some people, the subword "jail" means that the process is illegal and bad things could possibly happen. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Jailbreaking is the name of a perfectly legal method of opening up your iPod so that you can run homebrew apps on it. I jailbroke my Wii last year and no one batted an eyelash, though I admittedly didn't call it "jailbreaking" at the time.

Basically, in this post, I want to run though exactly what jailbreaking is, what it isn't and why it might possibly have a bad reputation. This was sparked by the fact that a few days ago, when I told someone I knew that I jailbroke my iPod, he was astonished that I would do that. I asked him why and he said "Well, that means you get all the apps on the App Store for free!"

....

"Whut?" I spluttered. "That's not true."

"No, it is!" he yelled, "Jailbreaking is illegal!"

It turns out that his poor source of information was a friend of his that I wouldn't normally consider to be the most intelligent person ever. He apparently learned somewhere of a hack allowing you to pirate apps that utilized a jailbroken iPod and automatically assumed that that was what jailbreaking was. He also decided that jailbreaking was dangerous and could destroy your iPod after he, note, went into Settings and deleted all of his content. Manually. By himself. And he blamed it on the jailbreak.

....whut.

Sure, I won't deny it, you could theoretically use a jailbroken iPod to pirate apps, but that's not what jailbreaking is for. To quote Wikipedia:

Some jailbreakers also attempt to pirate paid App Store applications. This focus has caused some strife within the jailbreaking community, as it was not the original focus of jailbreaking and is illegal.

iOS (Apple) on Wikipedia

Jailbreaking is not the act of pirating apps, it is the act of using a bug in Apple's software to install a third-party app. It's for those people who want to write iPhone apps but don't want to have to pay Apple $99 a year or those who want to write apps that do stuff outside of the official API (like the awesome Scrobbl (live scrobbling) or Backgrounder (true multitasking)).

Also, jailbreaking started out with a completely different use. Not many people know this, but when the iPhone first came out, there was no App Store. There was literally no way to get apps onto your iPod... other than jailbreaking it. And that's what jailbreaking is really for: getting apps onto your iPod. The only reason piracy got dragged into this is because jailbroken iPods allow for the installation of apps that haven't been approved by Apple, and could therefore do bad things. As stated earlier, piracy is not the intent of most jailbreakers and my brother's claim that "If you say 'jailbreak' to any American, they will think you are pirating apps" is a complete falsity. And not a true one, either. :P

The other reason that jailbreaking has a bad name is because there is one other illegal thing you can do with it: SIM unlocking, which is the act of allowing the iPhone to use another network besides AT&T. In America, AT&T has a monopoly on iPhones (which is technically the reason the iPhone was created--as a secret deal between Apple and AT&T) and using a network other than AT&T with your iPhone is not allowed. However, this is basically the extent of bad things you could do with a jailbroken iPod; Apple has even said that they will not attempt to break jailbroken apps other than ones that perform SIM unlocking. So you don't have to worry about anything; unless you are actually trying to do something illegal, your jailbroken iPod is protected.

Last thing: the claim that jailbreaking your iPod is dangerous is also untrue. I've had my jailbroken iPod for a week now and it's not a brick yet (though SpringBoard did crash once, but that was easily fixable by uninstalling an offending app). The claims that you can destroy your iPod while jailbreaking it are too unrealistic as most jailbreaking methods require you to install a new firmware on your iPod and iTunes will automatically make a backup of your device when you do that, so that you can restore to a working firmware if anything goes wrong. Also, with the new jailbreak that I pointed out last time (which is awesomely codenamed Star :P), the entire jailbreak is done on your iPod and has a very small chance of failure (though it is suggested that you backup your iPod with iTunes before jailbreaking anyway).

So there it is, folks. Jailbreaking is awesome and there is nothing wrong with it unless you are trying to make there be something wrong with it. I want to write Maze Of Life for the iPhone; is that wrong? No! Not at all. :) Incidentally, the original reason that I preferred a BlackBerry over an iPhone is the fact that you can easily write programs for the BlackBerry, but now with jailbreaking, you can do that for the iPhone too! Yay!

Also, I just wanted to point out that I am awesome and a trend-setter as after I jailbroke my iPod on Monday, TimTam followed suit. Drifty has jailbroken her iPod, as well as a few others', apparently. :P Jailbreaking for the win!

Interesting, The Option Of Complete And Utter Indifference tied with the positive option. You people really do think you're so funny. Well, actually, so do I, seeing as I made the option. Anyway, shame on whoever voted negative and yay Starfall!

Are you excited about the fact that omg Starfall might ACTUALLY be finished soon? YES! nags Starla - 5 vote(s)! Lol, no it's not. :P - 2 vote(s)! I really couldn't care less. - 0 vote(s)! I care less than Option 3. I can't even be bothered to pick whichever option suits me the best, I just want to vote and get out of here. So there. - 5 vote(s)!

Actually, Starfall is sort of progressing. I posted my chapter synopsis last week, woo-hoo! I won't give you the link because I don't want to ruin the story for those who aren't involved with the process already. :P

Anyway, I can't be bothered to rant about how much I hate writing poll posts this week, so I'm just going to skip right to Caption'd:

Passionate About Doughnuts

Gleefully Held Hostage

So, things are happening! I worked on Four Island a bit this week, wrote a couple of posts, stabbed some people, it's all good. In fact, since I am pretty much free all month, you can expect more posts from me because I'm in that kind of mood. :P Anyway: I HATE POLL POSTS! :P

As most of you may know, I am filled with a contempt for Facebook that is a lot of contempt. Why yes. Dot dot dot. Anyway, though I have not yet posted my reasons for quitting Facebook on Four Island, I will make sure that I do so before I completely quit. Yes, I'm only going to gradually phase out of Facebook because a lot of people still use Facebook for a ton of various things and while it's going to be difficult convincing my friends to use these alternatives that exist, it will hopefully be possible.

You may notice that this post says "Phase 2". That is because I have already been doing Phase 1 for quite a while: stop logging into Facebook. I haven't logged into the Facebook Website (though I still log into Facebook Chat via Pidgin) for quite some time now; the only exceptions being when people specifically tell me to go look at something. So I think Phase 1 has been a success.

Phase 2 starts today. As of August 6th 2010, I have disabled email notifications on Facebook messages. That means that if you send me a Facebook message (instead of doing the proper thing and just emailing me), I will not know about it, I will not read it and I will certainly not respond to it. Sorry if this sounds a bit mean, but I am very tired of receiving emails from Facebook notifying me of messages that I have to go back to Facebook to reply to and not being able to have my entire email archive IN my email account and having the nice pretty email threads that GMail does.

I will probably not implement Phase 3 for a month or so, just so people can get used to Phase 2. While Phase 2 isn't really too difficult to do as most people have normal email accounts (in fact, you need to have one to get a Facebook account), Phase 3 is a bit more dangerous because it assesses the laziness of my friends. YOU CAN DO IT, FRIENDS! BE STRONG! :P

So, remember, the next time you want to send me an asynchronous long message, what do you do? Email it to me. Because if you Facebook Message it to me, it would be equivalent to writing a letter and then burning it. Because I may never, in fact, see it.

EDIT: Oh yeah, you may have noticed: I changed the font on Four Island for Layout 7. It's a webfont called Delicious (with a fallback of Verdana) that I think looks quite beautiful and just the right size. This is a pleasant change from Lucida Grande (with a fallback of Arial) which, though I LOVE Lucida Grande in the desktop environment, I think made Four Island rather ugly and difficult to read. Hopefully this works well! :D

Yes, I am going to yell at Apple in this post. But, first of all, let me make something clear: while I have been largely negative toward Apple in the past (and I still am apathetic towards the Mac, which was my original target), I love my iPod touch. I don't know how I lived without it. I mean, as I type this, I am on vacation, at a hotel, swinging on a swing while listening to music. I know, right? :P (Though I really do want an iPhone; I mean, seriously, Internet everywhere? Awesome!)

But right now, I'm fairly annoyed at them. On July 31st, I got two iTunes giftcards and used $5.99 off one of them to purchase an upgrade to Palringo Premium (a version of Palringo, an awesome instant messaging app for iPhones, that has features that I need like Message Logging :P). My account was debited, but I never received the upgrade. Shock. And horror, I guess. I tried to report this to Apple, but when I went to iTunes to do so, the link simply sent me to Apple's support site. What? Something was definitely wrong, because if I tried to report a problem with any other purchase, it would let me. This made me very angry. I sent an email to Palringo's support team and have not yet received a response. A response better come or else.... I'LL START SINGING KATE NASH SONGS! :P

Anyway, on a lighter note, I did something yesterday that made me love my iPod even more. That's right, I jailbroke it. :P I had been trying to find a way to jailbreak my iPod, but newer iDevices (iPhone 3GS, iPhone 4, iPod touch 2 MC model and iPod touch 3) with iOS 4 had no available jailbreaks and I was sad. However, when I was searching around again yesterday, I found something amazing. A brand new (it literally came out like yesterday or the night before) userland jailbreak for nearly every iDevice, compatible with iOS 4.

I think, at that point, I started jumping around and spitting out my cream soda, which was a bit of a shame because you can't get cream soda anywhere and I do love it. The best part of this jailbreak, though? IT'S SO EASY. You literally just have to open a page in Safari, slide a bar to the right to activate the jailbreak and wait a few minutes. You will likely have to retry quite a few times because the jailbreak is brand new and the servers are clogged (rebooting helps too), but it's soooooo worth it. Here, read this tutorial.

Anyway, now I have something that makes me happy. And what's that? LIVE SCROBBLING ON MY IPOD OH YEAH FIRE MUFFINS. Seriously, I told you before, I'm insane. And the iPod scrobbler that I used to have to use on my computer would either scrobble each song far too many times or take a very long time doing the right job. And either way would result in completely falsified timestamps because the iPod could only track the last listen of a song. Now, with the Scrobbl app, songs are scrobbled AS I LISTEN TO THEM and if I don't have WiFi at the moment, it'll queue the songs for scrobbling for the next time I am connected. THIS.... THIS IS JUST AWESOME. GIVE ME A HUG, SCROBBL. GIVE ME A HUG.

Anyway, I am very excited about that and doing more jailbroken-y things on my iPod. What's that? I could do what? I COULD MAKE APPS FOR MY IPOD NOW?!?!? Yes, that would be AWESOME: I could make apps for my iPod now that it's jailbroken! I could totally write Maze Of Life or something, create my own Cydia repository and put it up! IT WOULD BE GREAT-TASTIC! Of course, I'd have to learn Objective-C and all of Apple's garbage APIs, but wouldn't it be fun to develop apps for the iPod? Yes, WOULDN'T IT?!?!?!?

Oh, by the way, that reminds me: I've had a new version of Maze Of Life that I've been meaning to release for quite a while. I should do that soon. :P

Lol, the poll has finished! Sorry to those not in the know (basically everyone), but this poll is the result of a combination of two inside jokes that you would probably be better off not knowing. Anyway, here are the results!

What's your favorite shirt from Gap Senile? "Help, I'm Lost" - 0 vote(s)! "Excuse Me, I Need Some Ice Cream. Here's My Wallet; Can You Help?" - 2 vote(s)! "Do You Know What My Name Is? Please?" - 3 vote(s)! "I Gotta BM" - 1 vote(s)!

This week's poll is a bit silly too, but it's actually a bit relevant as well! Did you hear? Starfall, the story that Drifty, TimTam and I have been collaboratively writing for THE PAST TWO YEARS (TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME :P) is finally up to the final chapter! And who has the ominous Chapter 10 been assigned to? Oh god, it's me. :P NAG ME, NAG ME, NAG ME IN THE COMMENTS! :P

Another note: I HAVE BEEN VERY LAZY RECENTLY. And by recently, I MEAN ABOUT A YEAR. I haven't done any real, solid programming since InstaDisc fell through (apart from some short-lived attempts at creating The TGS Website). WHY IS THAT? Something needs to be done here, but mailing me flaming crates of C4 is really messy, so we're going to have to find a different way. Yeah. fizzles out

Anyway, CAPTION'D TIME! :D

Prozac

Phone Service

On a random final note: I changed my fourm avatar to Kate Nash (WHO IS AWESOME)! That, plus Twitter, says that there's going to be another music review soon! Actually, there will be two because I have recently acquired two CDs (and possibly a third in a few hours :P). Anyway, runs away

Hello, it's me again! Before you scream and run away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away ha ha, they're coming to take me away, LISTEN. Yes, I'm ranting about something in uppercase letters that doesn't pertain to the English language. Shock and horror.

Anyway, this rant is mainly about my "No WWW" policy and EDUCATING the CHILDREN with THE TRUTH. THAT'S RIGHT LITTLE JOHNNY, THAT WASN'T SANTA CLAUS UNDER THE MISTLETOE! IT WAS YOUR REAL FATHER! Um, anyway, I felt the need to do this because first of all, I run Four Island at a Class B no-www compliance level and I've never actually talked about it and because last week, after explaining a bit about how the World Wide Web was not the same thing as the Internet to my cousin, she rebounded with this: "So, does that mean that Four Island isn't part of the World Wide Web because it doesn't have a www?"

No, Keke Palmer, it doesn't. (Lol, seriously, no offense, I like ranting! PLEASE DUN KILL ME- static) Let's begin with what a URL actually needs to be part of the World Wide Web. No, it's not the "www.", it's the "http://" that most people have only seen in their community college's Computing 101 course where they get to learn how to increase the font size in Microsoft Internet Explorer 2.03. The World Wide Web (which was invented by Tim Burners Lee, who is awesome) actually goes by another, less common to non-techy people, name: The Hypertext Transfer Protocol. I'm not really going to go into it much because I'm afraid my popcorn will get cold but basically, the Internet is full of many, many different ways to transfer information and the way you use the Internet to see webpages is HTTP. That's what that "http://" in front of URLs means; that it's going to let you see a webpage or a picture or a sound file. Or a picture of a sound file... or something like that. The reason that it's necessary is because, as I said earlier, there are many different ways of transferring information on the Internet and you have to tell your computer which one you want. However, many people don't know this because most web browsers created after 1650 automatically add the "http://" if you "forget" (read: don't realize the existence or necessity of) it.

On the other hand, there's "www." I have witnessed some horrible things with "www."s such as someone reciting a link to someone at a computer and the person at a computer MANUALLY ADDS IN a www. even if the other person didn't say to add one. I see people go "Hey, let's Google that" (which, by the way, you shouldn't say because it's trademark infringement (yes, I went the Googleplex last week and it was awesome (YOU GET FREE CANDY AND SODA! SO WORKING THERE! :P))) and go to their computer and type in "WWW.GOOGLE.COM". Yes, in all caps, but that's not the point; the point is that they added four completely unnecessary characters to what they had to type WHICH MADE THEM MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO CARPEL TUNNEL! SEE, FOLKS? USING WWW. IN FRONT OF EVERY URL CAN KILL YOU! DON'T DO IT!

The use of "www." in front of URLs most likely came from the old standard of putting your servers at subdomains corresponding to their function, such as "www" for web servers, "mail" or "smtp" for email servers and "ftp" for FTP servers. However, THIS ISN'T NECESSARY! IT'S JUST A STANDARD! In fact, as some of you may know, if you leave out the www. in a URL.... IT WILL STILL WORK! OH MY GOD! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?! It's possible due to a magical thing call DNS and the kindness of your local detergent salesperson.

The reason why I don't like "www."s is because it makes me angry when I see people think that it's necessary and that the Internet is the same thing as the World Wide Web and was invented by some guy named Bob. I'm sure some guy named Bob has set up an intranet in his local laundromat that wants to go "TOTALLY DOT COM", but he didn't invent The Internet. Also, I think domains look prettier without the "www." in front. www.fourisland.com. fourisland.com. Yeah, someone's winning Hottest Domain Of The Year.

Also, while, I'm at it, no, Obama does not have a button that can turn off the Internet. There is no conspiracy or CIA cover-up because IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT BLOWING UP PLANET EARTH. (However, you could theoretically disable the Internet for people who aren't insane and memorize IP addresses by blowing up the 13 root nameservers of the Internet, but they're heavily protected (seriously, people have tried to attack them. Twice). Wow, that would be an AWESOME movie: "NO! WE HAVE TO SAVE THE INTERNET!!!! NAMESERVER G IS GOING DOWN! HAND ME THAT ETHERNET CABLE! WHY ISN'T DMAP INSTALLED ON THIS COMPUTER?!?!?")

I'm sorry, I'm off to file copyright papers. That idea is just too awesome to let go.

OH MY GOD, it's time for the judging! And..... SALLY COHN WON! YAY :D. :P

Who do you think should have gone on in this week's America's Got Talent? Sally Cohn - 1 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 2 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 1 vote(s)! Sally Cohn - 2 vote(s)!

Anyway, I think this week was marginally better than last week. Actually, it was a lot better because I actually posted a longish not-insane post on time-ish. And I'm on time with this post too. Anyway, I'm NOT AT CAMP ANYMORE YAY LIQUIDS and I will be back in New York shortly! WHICH MEANS YOU GET TO READ MORE INSANE THINGS FROM ME YAY- shot

Okay, ignoring that, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR WEEKLY CAPTION'D FIX! :D

Change In "Style"

Hissy Fit

YAY! Anyway, see you next week PEOPLES. COFFEE.

Sorry for the Smiley-worthy pun in the title, but it's here! Another music review by meee! :D And it's coming from basically nowhere: We Are Born by Sia! Let me explain a bit. I am obsessed with Last.fm because I am insane and one day, it suggested that I listen to Sia because I liked Imogen Heap. Well, I mentally noted that, but didn't do anything about it. A few days/weeks later, I was on my iPod when I saw an album called "We Are Born" by "Sia" in the new releases list and I remembered what Last.fm had said. A few days later, while in Australia, I walked into a Borders and heard a couple of songs from the album playing and quickly changed my tact (I had walked in to buy a book and to get a plastic bag) and purchased the album.

Yeah, by the end of two weeks, Sia had entered my top eight on last.fm and actually, as of today, she is now number three with 215 listens. Yes, I'm insane, but I'm not the only one because after not being able to prevent myself from singing a few of the songs while around my friends, two of my friends also became obsessed with it and I lent them the CD. :P SHARING IS CARING- shot

Anyway, this is one of the best albums I have listened to in quite a while and I'm really expecting it to get a good score on my review. Let's do it, then, okay? :P

1. The Fight - The album starts with a chorus of children chanting the album's title and cheering. Sia enters with her distinctive vocals and everything flows very nicely to the glowingly bright chorus. It's a bit difficult to sing in the car (We made it through the darkness to the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!), but it will doubtless stay in your head all day. 5 stars
2. Clap Your Hands - This song is Sia's only official radio single so far from We Are Born and originally, I didn't like it so much. My favorite part, though short, is definitely the pre-chorus, where the mood of the song darkens a bit and Sia's bright vocals dip into a short ballad on misery. Soon, however, the song lights up again with the chorus, which really has grown on me. 4 stars
3. Stop Trying - One of my favorite songs on the album (and one of the songs that snagged my friends as well), Stop Trying immediately hooks you in by starting out with a dampened version of the unforgettable chorus. It comes back later with spirit later and after hearing it 6 times, you won't be able to stop singing it. I see the song as a plea to stop trying to be someone else because people love you already. 5 stars
4. You've Changed - What's interesting about this song is that is appears to be sending a message that completely contradicts the previous song. Regardless, Sia's bright vocals and a toe-tapping background track will keep you coming back to listen. 5 stars
5. Be Good To Me - I won't hide it, nearly every album (except Speak For Yourself by Imogen Heap and It's Not Me, It's You by Lily Allen) has a dud track. Granted, it's not horrible, and in fact, just listening to it now is making me like it a bit more. Anyway, it's a slow ballad fueled by an almost angry, yet broken Sia. It starts out pretty well with a soothing, yet captivating background track, however, as you get into the song, Sia starts yelling a bit more which just doesn't sound that great from her. 3 stars
6. Bring Night - Like nearly every album has a dud track, nearly every album has a standout and Bring Night is the clear winner of Best Song Of The Album. It begins dark and low with Sia almost muttering the easily to memorize verses and, before you know it, EXPLODES into the chorus which are as cheery and as beautiful as they are thankfully easy to remember (Chase your shadow 'til the sun goes down!). Then, Sia finishes the chorus off with a warbling cry before sinking back into the next verse. But don't worry, the chorus comes back again twice. Bring the night on. You could dance to this song just as easily as you could to any Lady GaGa song. My favorite song on the album, and most certainly the one that hooked my friends. 5 stars
7. Hurting Me Now - An upbeat song with doubtlessly darker undertones, Hurting Me Now is a song about someone who hurts you without even knowing it. Like pretty much every other song so far, the chorus really stays with you. 5 stars
8. Never Gonna Leave Me - Another of my favorite songs from the album. Never Gonna Leave Me starts with more of Sia's upbeat vocals and music before launching into the fast-paced chorus (Now that I've taken your love from above, you're here and you're never gonna leave me!) which, dare I say it again, is bound to get stuck in your head. Oh, what else can I say? LISTEN TO IT. :P 5 stars
9. Cloud - This song starts out very dark and gloomy, like the title of the song. However, Sia soon breaks out into the sun with the beautiful, meaningful chorus (I am a dark cloud swelling with raiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!). You know what I'm going to say. Sing it in the car, folks. 5 stars
10. I'm In Here - We Are Born is mainly upbeat; though that is not without exceptions. I'm In Here is inherently depression, yet beautiful and though it may make you feel sad, it's quite singable. There's also a Piano Vocal version on the CD version of the album, so if you like to play the piano, it may be worth trying to learn this song. 5 stars
11. The Co-Dependant - Returning to the land of upbeat songs, The Co-Dependant is about someone who is so deeply in love that they ignore their partner's faults. It's quite good. Oh, just listen to it, I'm turning into a broken record. :P 4 stars
12. Big Girl Little Girl - Okay, the first time I listened to We Are Born, I was on an airplane. To Australia. Yeah, and it was long and painful and I listened to the album because I thought it would be awesome. It was, but by the end of the album, I was sort of falling asleep and I sort of missed out on the last few songs. Because of this, I didn't really appreciate Big Girl Little Girl (or Oh Father) that much until I started listening to the songs with my friends and I realized that this song is really quite awesome. I'm not going to go rant about the yummy upbeat chorus and all because you can see it coming; let's skip to the end of the song. There's a beautiful, slow repeated block of song that you really have to listen to (You know with every cruel word that you utter / That you bury yourself even deeper every time...). 5 stars
13. Oh Father - This song is the only unoriginal song on Sia's album as it is actually a cover of an old Madonna song. After listening to Sia's beautiful rendition of the song a few times, I decided to listen to the original for comparison and I'm sorry but it doesn't hold up in the least compared to Sia's version. It's so beautifully done and Madonna's is so.... fake? I don't know, it just feels fake in the wake of Sia's heartfelt version. Okay, just.... just listen to the whole album, okay? :P 4 stars

Wow. This is just amazing. If we average my ratings together, We Are Born gets a 4.2 out of 5 stars. That's much higher than the ratings for my other albums. Yeah, this album is good. Go listen to it. Lol, sorry I'm so braindead in this post but I'm a bit busy and a bit insane about other things. LISTEN TO WE ARE BORN! Now. :P

Horray! People actually care about what I write! It's a shock! I never knew! Yeah, um, read the results:

Do my music reviews actually make you want to listen to the music? BUT OF COURSE hums Let Go - 3 vote(s)! WHAT? NO! - 2 vote(s)! You.... review music? - 3 vote(s)! Indifferent - 1 vote(s)!

Yes, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK. I HAVE BEEN A FAILURE. THROW FRUIT AT ME. Yes, I know, I'm horrible. But I'm going to be pulling excuses out of thin air again. Yes, IT'S NOT MIDNIGHT YET IN MY TIMEZONE! Please dun kill me! :P Besides, I warned that this month would be a bit wavy. Sorry! Next month will be better! I'm also sorry that I haven't posted my music review that I've been promising yet. I've written most of it, so you may be able to expect it this week! :P

And as for this week's poll, well, it was for the lulz. Sort of. I was being forced to watch America's Got Talent and I saw Sally Cohn, a ~70 year old hand-whistler and she was so heart-meltingly sweet and the act was actually good. Lol, I know I'm a big softy (sometimes), but it sort of killed me when she didn't go through, so I made this poll! Yes, please laugh at me. :P

Anyway, here's this week's Caption'd posts:

Unidentified Globs Of Goooo!

Offensive Odor

So, this week will probably be as bad as last week, but hopefully not! And remember, whatever you do, make sure you vote for Sally Cohn in this week's poll! :P

Let me start off by saying that I don't like soccer. In fact, I don't like sports at all (unless you count competitive typing (98 WPM, YEAH! :P)), but even I know about....

THE VUVUZELAS.

Apparently, they're annoying.

Some of you may be lolling right now, but it's not funny! Those poor people sitting in the stands, trying to watch some stupid ball sport should be pitied! What, the people who don't like vuvuzelas? Heck no, I know a vuvuzela-hater that owes me five bucks. They can go eat pasta with NO BUTTER for all I care.

I mean the poor people who like vuvuzelas! It's so sad to see it happen. Because, they're everywhere. That old lady who walks down the street by the side of the supermarket every day at 2pm? SHE'S A VUVUZELOR! That toddler who pees in your petunias every five minutes? A VUVUZELOR! That high school junior that lives across the street from you? Not a vuvuzelor, but he's a pervert, so you can go stab him if you wish. But you get my point. These poor people have been INFECTED with the CURSE of believing that vuvuzelas are ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

I'm sorry you had to see that. My imaginary cat jumped on my hard drive and ate a cookie. As a result, I can't tell you exactly how the vuvuzelor virus works. BUT BEWARE. Next time you are walking down the street and someone is internally bleeding because they just ripped their larynx out with their vuvuzela, DON'T GET TOO CLOSE! You could catch the virus from their disease-ridden instrument! Or you could lose your aural sense, which would also be pretty bad, BUT NOT AS!

So, buyer beware and welcome to Grammatown. Stay away from vuvuzelas, because otherwise, I'll write another weird story like this. And next time, it'll be about you, your mom and your embarrasing foot rash. Oh-yeah. Pokemon.