Four Island

Does anyone remember a post on this blog a few years ago about a program called "Nonsense"? A few blog posts have gone mysteriously missing for no reason (like 2008's Christmas Day post) and that bothers me. You see, I have an obsession with archiving. I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED AAAARGGHHH!!!! :P (That, btw, is the reason I hate Skype, because its chat logs are stored in a proprietary binary format. You'll see, I'll all convert you when Four Island 3.0 comes out. Just wait and see.... :P)

Anyway, I bring this up because TimTam recently asked me about it. I have mentioned Nonsense before in random posts such as Four Island is destroyed by Color Pencils and A Short Tribute To Doctor Who but, other than in 2008's mysterious vanishing post, I've never really explained what it was.

Remember Humorix? Well, on their website, they have a Downloads page with a few random oddities. One of these oddities is an interpreter called "Nonsense". To quote Humorix,

Nonsense generates random (and sometimes humorous) text from datafiles and templates using a very simple, recursive grammar. It's like having a million monkeys sitting in front of a million typewriters, without having to feed or clean up after them. From the Slashdot homepage to absurd college courses to buzzword bingo cards, Nonsense is a good way to waste time.

Humorix

During Four Island's extended downtime (omg, that was such a long time ago! :P), I wrote a script for Nonsense that generates humorous Four Island quotes (and American Pie parodies :P). Originally, some of the diction that I used has some innuendos and the quotes came out sounding quite wrong. :P Recently, however, I've revamped the script so as to make it sound more appropriate (but just as funny!) and grammatically correct. You can find the script here. Download the Nonsense program from its website and run the script like this:

./nonsense -f hatkkirby.data Quote

You can replace "Quote" with "AmericanPie" for a parody of American Pie :P

However, I know most of you scalawags don't use Linux and probably don't have a Perl interpreter installed. So, I've included a few examples to make you loffle!

#536 + (190) - [X]

JAL: I'm going to a toilet while listening to Happy Ending, listening to My Interpretation and asking Hatkirby "What are you doing?" with my sexist Madonna.
Hatkirby: Hihat!
JAL: HIHAT BLUEMONKEY I'M WHAT THE FSCK SMELLY DRAWING A PICTURE WITH SAMMI9494 HAHAHAHA!
Hatkirby: Are you stupid?
JAL: I'm asking Bluemonkey "Are you smelly?"
Hatkirby: ****! That's so alive that I think I'll start being hyperactive!
Hatkirby: Byee!
JAL: ....cyas
Ozzyfrog: SMILEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY T_CASE!!!!!!!! YOU SLOWLY OWE ME 141 MOVIE THEATERS!
Sammi9494: I am drawing a picture with Timbo94 with Pyro's cinder block in North Dakota.
* Hatkirby is eating Douglas
* Bluemonkey thinks Hatkirby is stupid
* Pyro is going to wow-pie.de

#534 + (143) - [X]

Sammi9494: I hate Sammi9494 because she's so gross!

#474 + (959) - [X]

Tamasys: I desire JAL because he's so noobish!
* JAL is making a Star Rod
Tamasys: I collect Hatkirby's phones.
Hatkirby: I annoyingly collect dead Adenosine Triphosphates.
* JAL is listening to music
Tamasys: 23
Bluemonkey: I am radioactive when I am asking "How are you doing?".
Sammi9494: My pasta is listening to Headlock by Imogen Heap, as well as being hyperactive, as well as falling 1993 floors off a high building at Four Island, as well as asking Pyro "Do you want a jawdroppingly thin cinder block??" with my lollipops and eating Mary Poppins with my Douglas with my oneric computer.

Lofflecopter. Also, an online version of my script has existed for a while but in a very bad shape. I've fixed it up so that it's usable so now, you don't even have to download Nonsense! Just go to the online version and loffle. :P