Penny: Can I borrow the dictionary? Hatkirby: Okay. Aha! Caught you now! Penny: ...okay, here it is. Hatkirby: Oh, lol, I thought it was Winnie The Pooh. Penny: Yeah, me too. Hatkirby: *sung to the Winnie The Pooh tune* Winnie The Pooh! It contains words! ....interesting words....
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Omg You: I accidentally a cheese block! Stranger: oyg? You: WHAT DO I DO Stranger: the whole cheese block/ Stranger: ? You: YES, THE WHOLE CHEESE BLOCK Stranger: the fuck? Stranger: how the shit did you manage that? You: I don't know! I can't explain it! Stranger: you're bullshitting me right? You: No, I really wish I were You: I really do Stranger: O_o You: What do I do‽‽‽‽ Stranger: That's messed up Stranger: I have no idea You: Oh god You: I always knew I should take those pills to prevent sleep walking Stranger: maybe you should see some philosophist? You: Yes, yes, of course Stranger: know any? Stranger: make sure the bastard's trained You: I'm friends with Freud, is that right? Stranger: oh yeah, he should be able to help You: WILL HE KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS!?!? Stranger: or just rape you Stranger: 50/50 chance You: But of course Stranger: up to you You: It's a chance I will have to take You: Actually, Freud upped his scales--it's about 49/51 now, but whatever Stranger: better get there quick You: yes, i will do that now You: THANK YOU STRANGER!!!! Stranger: Could cause some serious damage if you leave it too long Stranger: You're welcome You: I must go, now Stranger: HUrry You: OKAY You have disconnected.
(09:46:11 AM) Tamasys: Hmm... Idk if I told you (09:46:15 AM) Tamasys: I probably did (09:46:27 AM) Tamasys: About the school production (09:47:23 AM) Starla: ? (09:47:27 AM) Starla: The one that you are the lead in? (09:47:38 AM) Starla: DID YOU STEAL SOME PILLOWS?!?! (09:47:39 AM) Tamasys: Yeah :) (09:47:42 AM) Tamasys: Lol (09:47:45 AM) Starla: I KNEW IT!!!! (09:47:51 AM) Tamasys: It's really intimidating... (09:47:59 AM) Starla: Well, just put them back then! (09:48:14 AM) Tamasys: I haven't done proper solo singing before (09:48:28 AM) Starla: Um, you're not going on a date with it, it's just a pillow (09:48:36 AM) Tamasys: Plus there are lots of styles I haven't sung before... (09:48:41 AM) Tamasys: Lol, quiet you (09:48:44 AM) Starla: :P (09:48:51 AM) Starla: Always here to annoy :) (09:48:58 AM) Tamasys: :P
(08:54:50 PM) Drifty: Yay things (08:56:15 PM) Starla: Yay (08:56:18 PM) Starla: So (08:56:25 PM) Starla: I was just forced to watch a horrible reality show (08:56:29 PM) Starla: And now I need to sue them (08:57:01 PM) Drifty: What show (08:57:15 PM) Starla: Something like "Betheney's Getting Married?" (08:57:22 PM) Starla: AND SHE'S ALREADY MARRIED (08:57:51 PM) Drifty: lolwhut\ (08:58:23 PM) Starla: And they're like "OMG MY WATER BROKE WHILE I WAS SLEEPING LOL C-SECTION AND LOL DRUGS MY HUBBY IS TOTALLY ASLEEP" (08:58:34 PM) Drifty: lolwhut (08:58:37 PM) Starla: THEY WERE (08:58:40 PM) Starla: IT HAPPENED (08:58:41 PM) Starla: TWICE (08:59:16 PM) Starla: And then they were like "IM READY TO HAVE MY BABBY--The baby was born on some date and we were happy yeah" (09:00:29 PM) Drifty: wtf (09:01:50 PM) Starla: "The poop will wash off as soon as I pee on you!" (09:02:25 PM) Drifty: um what (09:02:35 PM) Starla: You don't want to know
(08:06:18 AM) Bluemonkey: teehee (08:06:26 AM) Bluemonkey: also music is great (08:06:31 AM) Starla: yay music (08:11:18 AM) Starla: music is like a chimpanzee attacking an old lady with jelly snakes (08:12:06 AM) Bluemonkey: no (08:12:07 AM) Bluemonkey: not at all (08:12:12 AM) Bluemonkey: at least not my music :P (08:12:17 AM) Starla: Some music is (08:12:43 AM) Starla: Its like *monkey noises* *old lady screams* *wiggling* (08:14:27 AM) Starla: Note: Starla made that up for this joke: No parallel was being drawn against any music as far as she knows and if there is any music that fits that description, she wants to murder it. See in stores for details. Terms and conditions apply. (08:14:51 AM) Bluemonkey: WHAT STORES???? (08:14:53 AM) Bluemonkey: I MUST HAZ (08:15:53 AM) Starla: YES
Старла Эппрет: Oh my, integrals Старла Эппрет: don't know that yet Drifty: It's... integral to the subject Drifty: kill me now* Старла Эппрет: heehee Старла Эппрет: I don't want to ruin Calc for me but I WANT TO KNOW WHAT AN INTEGRAL ISSSSS Drifty: An integral is antidifferenti- SPOILERS Старла Эппрет: NOOOO Drifty: DUMBLEDORE KILLED SNAPE Старла Эппрет: WITH ROSEBUD Drifty: THE ONE IS NEO Старла Эппрет: AND IT TURNS OUT IT WAS JUST A HALLUCINATION INDUCED BY SPOILED MILK Drifty: IT WAS MARS ALL ALONG Drifty: THEY DIE Старла Эппрет: The En—ANTIDERIVATIVE Drifty: THE ANTIDERIVATIVE KILLED DUMBLEDORE Старла Эппрет: WITH A SLOPE THAT HAS A SECRET PSAT Старла Эппрет: OR PAST Старла Эппрет: GOD PSAT IS SO MUCH BETTER Drifty: I have a dark and shadowing psat Старла Эппрет: STANDARDIZED TESTS OH NOOO Старла Эппрет: The antiderivative somehow found its way onto THE PSAT Старла Эппрет: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN Старла Эппрет: ALL THOSE SOPHOMORES ARE SO CONFUZED Старла Эппрет: that totally looks like I spelled it wrong Старла Эппрет: THE CONFUZED IS SO CONFUSED
<transkatie> You know what's just about the second-most-awesome male first name ever? Samson. Yeah/ <transkatie> And then I will have two sons so I can name the second Samson <@Frowardd> and the first? <transkatie> and he will say "MOMMY WHY IS MY NAME SAMSON" and I will say "Babby when you came out of das vagina you had hair which was freakishly long!" <transkatie> Frowardd: The first is obviously Alex, the most awesome male first name ever <@Frowardd> for my money, I'd go with Ulysses <OptimisticCynic> Ulysses is a badass name <Sigma> #xkcd-horseporn <transkatie> Вы мама is a badass name
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You and the stranger both like homestuck. You: KARKLEYP00 You: THIS IS R0SE HUMAN You: BEING R0SE HUMAN LIKE ALWAYS You: 0F C0URSE Stranger: DO YOU THINK I'M THAT STUPID? You: i am r0se human and i l0ve y0u You: yessss i d00000 You: its amazing Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING You: i am busting y0ur balls You: attaching dynamite t0 them and bl0wing them up You: where are y0ur balls n0w You: theyre g0ne You: i expl0ded them Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: 0h it is fun t0 be reb0rn You: i hacked int0 r0ses acc0unt! h0w pr0ud are y0u Stranger: WHY WOULD I BE PROUD? Stranger: IT'S OBVIOUS IT WAS YOU FUCKASS You: 0h wait thats right y0u have n0 balls anym0re You: y0u cann0t be pr0ud Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!? You: i f00led y0u and y0u kn0w it!\ Stranger: I HAVE MY FUCKING BALLS Stranger: AND YOU'RE STILL DUMB, FUCKASS You: karkat y0u make me guffaw You: this silly thing y0u are d0ing You: this leadering thing You: y0u need to get better at it Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: a bunch 0f us are being purp0sefully insub0rdinate Stranger: I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHIN-- WHAT!? You: and hacking int0 human acc0unts You: teehee You: and were g0ing to fight jack all by 0ur little selves Stranger: YOU GUYS ARE JUST FUCKING IDIOTS! You: its g0ing t0 be a smash Stranger: YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID. You: hahahaha Stranger: YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER! You: y0u led us int0 a mete0r 0h wise and great leader! You: and then gamzee started killing every0ne! Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! You: the few 0f us that are left are sick 0f it Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT EITHER! You: have fun with y0ur expl0ded balls Stranger: WHAT!? You: were 0ut 0f here! Stranger: FINE! Stranger: I'LL JUST BE A LEADER ON MY OWN! You: y0u have fun with that Stranger: I DON'T NEED YOU FUCKERS! You: send me a human p0stcard You: telling me all ab0ut it You: because You: I TRICKED YOU YOU BASTARD You: I'M JOHN Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: ON ROSE'S COMPUTER You: THIS IS HILARIOUS Stranger: WHAT!? Stranger: FUCK YOU JOHN You: OH MY GOD Stranger: I-I KNEW IT WAS YOU FUCKASS! You: IF I HAD A VIEWPORT AND COULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE Stranger: SHUT UP! Stranger: I KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Stranger: FUCK YOU! You: I'm so happy you were here to marry your ass You: Bye KARKLES have fun with your insubordination! You have disconnected.
User: Karkat Vantas. Cleverbot: Terezi Pyrope. User: No, ME. Cleverbot: You ally or horde? User: Karkat loves me. Cleverbot: Equius Zahak. User: Nooooooo he's not right for me. Cleverbot: No hi or hey. User: What are you talking about. Cleverbot: What are you talking about? User: My one true love, Karkat Vantas. Cleverbot: Oooh I love you dear. User: KARKAT DEAREST, IS THAT YOU? Cleverbot: Well I am pretty bored right now and I can't think of what to do. User: Now you're just screwing with me. Cleverbot: No I'm not! User: Okay, then, where do you want to go for dinner tonight? Cleverbot: I don't want to date you. User: BUT KARKLES I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL. Cleverbot: Well, you have a new friend now! User: Please touch my butt. Cleverbot: I don't know I have xbox live.