swbookworm: hey do u want a distraction??? swbookworm: my mom pulled this carrot(s) out of her garden n sent the pic to me tinylittlegremlin: they r hugging swbookworm: and my biology focused ass immediately thought *holy shit its a chromosome* hatkirby: wow that Is a chromosome swbookworm: right!!! hatkirby: *steps on it fully* swbookworm: ksdljalkjfdfs toothpastecanyon: Cnnckfkfckck toothpastecanyon: Noooo star swbookworm: nooooooo hatkirby: I Am Freeing You From Karyotyping toothpastecanyon: But I Like typing :blobcry: swbookworm: ....carrototyping toothpastecanyon: Yes hatkirby: ok that's really good you eviscerated me toothpastecanyon: Yes I love you swbookworm: skjfdnladsfjs hatkirby: i'll grant you one wish for that feat swbookworm: omg
gasmasque: Average tau conservation hatkirby: meat wheatcake: Meat( wheatcake: ! gasmasque: Meat azhdrake: Meat.balls gasmasque: Meat.balls.com wheatcake: :penis: azhdrake: :penis: gasmasque: :penis: :slimeysdickgrabber: wheatcake: :raynaud: :penis: gasmasque: :bowser little death: wheatcake: :bowser little death: azhdrake: :bowser little death: hatkirby: it takes so little to make yalls happy
swbookworm: i have made it to the library. whether or not this will help me lock in remains to be seen azhdrake: They don't even have cats there hatkirby: locking in for greatness gasmasque: Book is being returned to the library swbookworm: three incredible replies thank you
azhdrake: Lol azhdrake: Fuck book specifically hatkirby: Ok I know you mean "screw our friend book" but for a moment it sounded like you just named an item called the fuck book
hatkirby: [ignoring everything you just said] book im gonna go to bat for you right fkn now just let me in there with the decibel sensor and the comically oversized mace swbookworm: wsjdalkjflksjfsldfjsdfj swbookworm: :wheeze: gasmasque: It’s beat down time baybee swbookworm: while i appreciate the defense i did hand him a sword halfway thru the session so you're gonna have to roll for initiative i'm afraid hatkirby: Like stop drop and roll, or..? swbookworm: yeah why not. if you can roll all the way back to your feet you can swing first, otherwise he gets to try swbookworm: or, you can roll a 20-sided die and we can all watch very closely over your shoulder to see what number you get swbookworm: you get advantage (roll twice and take the higher number) bc he isn't expecting the attack hatkirby: Okay I'm kind of surprised Al-V can't roll a die swbookworm: it's okay he'd probably game the system to win all the dice rolls hatkirby: thought you meant your friend for a moment lol swbookworm: i mean my DM also probably would try lol swbookworm: but in this case i was talking about Al-V hatkirby: ok I swear this was my first attempt hatkirby: > Random Integer Generator hatkirby: > Here are your random numbers: hatkirby: > 20 swbookworm: ekjdfldksfjldfjldfjdfj hatkirby: actually the worst number to get because it's far less believable than a 19 gasmasque: Nat 20 Star, how do you destroy him swbookworm: yeah no you get to swing first. and twice as many times. congrats on your natural 20! You Get To Kick His Ass hatkirby: :D!!!! swbookworm: obligatory dm line: How Do You Want To Do This? hatkirby: cartoony smoke cloud appears with arms and legs flying around. when the dust clears i've been taped to the ceiling and your friend is encased in ice hatkirby: this is how dnd works right swbookworm: https://tenor.com/view/applause-hahaha-great-funny-fans-gif-13569036 gasmasque: Hell yeah swbookworm: close enough!!! you succeed in your fight!! you have defeated the Loud DM!!! 🎉 swbookworm: you can now level up :texaceglarp: hatkirby: omg hatkirby: #mylevel... gasmasque: Get on his level
swbookworm: also joke's still on yall i don't get notifs when ppl react to my messages lol toothpastecanyon: 💝 swbookworm: pffffft toothpastecanyon: ❤️ toothpastecanyon: 🩵 gasmasque: 💜 gasmasque: 💚 wheatcake: 💖 0rigamidragon: :heart: azhdrake: 🖤 💛 toothpastecanyon: 💖 swbookworm: :TooTiredForThisShit: swbookworm: yeah okay toothpastecanyon: 🫀 gasmasque: :blobsnuggle: swbookworm: i dont know what i expected
cymrin: I do not control the speed at which lobsters get bigger ickyickyicky: Do you know what show that's from?
[a series of guesses]
hatkirby: It's two boys. ickyickyicky: Yeah the show name is both of their names cymrin: Well you already said it's not Zach & Cody. I guess it's not Malcolm in the Middle. Unless there's another boy in it named "The Middle".