#300Up+15/-18DownNovember 03 2009 at 12:27:51 am EST
[7:14:32 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: Oh noez! An unknown number just called me! [7:16:38 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: O_O And they called me again.... [7:16:46 PM] Drifty: O_O [7:16:49 PM] Drifty: DId you answr? [7:19:00 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: No, I didn't [7:19:02 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: Scarrry [7:19:08 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: i hope they dont call again [7:23:26 PM] Drifty: Why don't you answer and see who it is? [7:23:38 PM] Drifty: If they are weird, just pretend you don't speak English [7:23:40 PM] Starla Alice Insigna: Because then it could be scary person and I would die in 7 days? :P
(12:36:57 AM) Starla: Is hould me probably sleep soon aseeing as I can't ceep my eyes oapn (12:37:17 AM) Starla: Or not seeing, as the case may be (12:37:29 AM) Tamasys: lolol
(11:03:37 PM) Tamasys: sea jellies are creepy... (11:03:54 PM) Starla: Jellyfish? (11:04:03 PM) Tamasys: octopusses are creepy and amazing (11:04:07 PM) Tamasys: no, sea jellies (11:04:15 PM) Tamasys: they're not called jellyfish any more (11:04:20 PM) Starla: WHAT (11:04:25 PM) Tamasys: for the simple fact that they are in no way related to fish (11:04:30 PM) Starla: WHAT (11:04:40 PM) Starla: First starfish, now jellyfish? (11:04:47 PM) ***Starla files many lawsuits (11:04:54 PM) Tamasys: you mean sea star and sea jelly? (11:05:17 PM) ***Starla stabs, jabs and steals money (11:05:29 PM) Tamasys: lol (11:05:38 PM) Starla: STARFISH (11:06:55 PM) Tamasys: D: (11:06:59 PM) Tamasys: but they aren't fish! (11:07:03 PM) Starla: So? (11:07:11 PM) Tamasys: so it's a silly name (11:07:12 PM) Starla: I'm not a kirby (11:07:17 PM) Starla: Turtledoves aren't turtles (11:07:19 PM) Tamasys: it's like calling them a starcat! (11:07:23 PM) Starla: And my computer isn't a floorboard (11:07:32 PM) Tamasys: but they have the colour of a turtle (11:07:33 PM) Tamasys: hence the name (11:07:35 PM) Starla: Names are just words! (11:07:42 PM) Tamasys: sea stars don't look like fish! (11:07:55 PM) Starla: Don't judge a book by its name! (11:08:10 PM) Tamasys: "how to kill people and die" (11:08:13 PM) Tamasys: i wouldn't read that book (11:08:17 PM) Starla: That sounds awesome (11:08:23 PM) Starla: I would use it against "sea star" people (11:08:39 PM) Tamasys: lol (11:08:39 PM) Starla: maybe throw it at them
(9:26:15 PM) Cousin: isnt it past your bedtimme (9:29:01 PM) Hatkirby: It's only 9:30 (9:29:08 PM) Cousin: time differences dont count (9:29:18 PM) Cousin: where ever you were born is what time it is (9:29:32 PM) Hatkirby: isn't it past your bedtime then (9:29:34 PM) Hatkirby: I KNEW IT! (9:29:44 PM) Cousin: dont hijack planes! (9:30:03 PM) Hatkirby: stop being so rascist (9:30:27 PM) Cousin: at least your not secretly 55 (9:31:11 PM) Hatkirby: shh! there are children here! (9:31:21 PM) Cousin: better than dogs (9:31:32 PM) Hatkirby: don't be so hard on yourself (9:32:01 PM) Cousin: dont play picaboo with leather couches (9:34:58 PM) Hatkirby: im sorry. Your misspelling of picaboo just sent me into anaphylactic shock (9:35:30 PM) Cousin: i kinda think you spelt it the exact same way as me (9:35:41 PM) Hatkirby: I just didn't want to hurt your feelings (9:35:52 PM) Cousin: peek-a-boo. better? (9:36:00 PM) Hatkirby: Almost possibly (9:36:11 PM) Cousin: adverbs are stupid (9:36:18 PM) Hatkirby: You must die for that (9:36:18 PM) Cousin: adjectives are all that is needed (9:36:37 PM) Hatkirby: Adjectives deserve to live in the corner with the dunce cap on (9:37:14 PM) Cousin: at least all of your friends dont not believe in internet (9:37:30 PM) Hatkirby: Oh yeah? Well you must be a sapient pet then. (9:37:40 PM) Hatkirby: Here [Cousin]. Come eat your dinner. (9:37:41 PM) Cousin: blessheww (9:37:52 PM) Hatkirby: Did you just throw up on the keyboard? (9:38:08 PM) Cousin: no dont think i did but thanks for asking (9:38:14 PM) Hatkirby: Your welcome (9:38:27 PM) Hatkirby: Actually, it's my welcome (9:38:30 PM) ***Hatkirby takes it back (9:38:38 PM) Cousin: fail. (9:38:48 PM) Hatkirby: It was a win. I made it that way. (9:38:51 PM) Hatkirby: You tremble. (9:39:05 PM) Cousin: did you know two short people stacked on top of each other might be taller than one tall person but in reality they're still short? (9:39:18 PM) Hatkirby: Not if they're not short. (9:39:38 PM) Cousin: at least pictures dont smell weird (9:39:56 PM) Hatkirby: at least your don't drive a traffic cone (9:41:00 PM) Hatkirby: I'm sorry. I accidentally forgot to press Typo-Lock again. (9:41:11 PM) Cousin: how unfortunate (9:41:18 PM) Hatkirby: how unforkucant (9:41:56 PM) Cousin: biology doesnt always not have computers to pillow (9:42:07 PM) Cousin: sorry, i got scare (9:42:08 PM) Cousin: d (9:42:13 PM) Hatkirby: You lie. We resolved that issue three years ago. (9:42:15 PM) Hatkirby: With soda. (9:42:17 PM) Hatkirby: Giant (9:42:19 PM) Hatkirby: Flaming (9:42:21 PM) Hatkirby: Cans of soda (9:42:48 PM) Cousin: better than pies of pizza's second cousin, hard wood floors (9:43:01 PM) Hatkirby: I dropped varnish on them. Oops. (9:43:13 PM) Hatkirby: Your sister starts sniffing the pizza. WHY? (9:43:31 PM) Cousin: I DONT KNOW!! i keep telling him not to (9:44:10 PM) Hatkirby: Just run up to it and yell "MARKUS POPPINS, STOP PLAYING WITH THAT WHITEBOARD AND EAT YOUR PETUNIA SALAD" (9:44:57 PM) Cousin: you sould make a cake with violets on it and marry the other tower thats not in the city where the tv was ruling (9:45:38 PM) Hatkirby: You forgot an H. Welcome to Jail. We now serve a continental breakfast. (9:45:50 PM) Hatkirby: AT 8PM. (9:46:25 PM) Cousin: well you said stuff twice so you should be flying business class to the island where houses dont have shutters cause they're that bad a** (9:47:01 PM) Hatkirby: Meet your inmate. His name is "PROFANITY" (9:47:26 PM) Cousin: PROFANITY is a BAD WORD!! watch your mouth young lady!! (9:47:43 PM) Hatkirby: PROFANITY is a BAD WORD!! wathc your mouth young salami!! (9:48:10 PM) Cousin: really? should i WATHC my mouth? (9:48:18 PM) Hatkirby: It's really good for your health. (9:48:24 PM) Hatkirby: NOT LIKE THAT KALE STUFF. (9:48:26 PM) Hatkirby: LAWSUITS. (9:48:48 PM) Cousin: so is belly dancing in the other persons purse store after they fall asleep (9:49:00 PM) Hatkirby: I'm sorry, I can't stay here under those conditions. (9:49:31 PM) Cousin: then jump on a horse's mother and stop using mouth wash when it not legal (9:50:06 PM) Hatkirby: I wasn't aware that you used chopsticks that way. I'll leave you two alone. (9:50:36 PM) Cousin: i wasnt aware that that.. haha i said the same word twice (9:50:48 PM) Hatkirby: I wasn't aware (9:51:01 PM) Hatkirby: un (9:51:01 PM) Hatkirby: un (9:51:02 PM) Hatkirby: untill (9:51:09 PM) Hatkirby: UNTIL YOU TOLLLLD MEE!!!! (9:51:14 PM) Hatkirby: UNTIL YOU TOLD MEEEE!!!! (9:51:19 PM) Hatkirby: UNTIL YOU TOOOOLLLDD MEEE! (9:51:22 PM) Hatkirby: Until you.... told me (9:52:14 PM) Hatkirby: Fin.
Drifty: it is so unreasonably cold here Hatkirby: “WOW!” writes LeeAnne, “what a difference they have made in my life. No longer do I quake with fear at the slightest stressor. I am able to stride forward in my life with confidence…the kind of confidence that only a set of hairless, tumor-riddled testicles can give you.” Drifty: what Hatkirby: *lols* Hatkirby: I'm reading an article about funny Amazon reviews Hatkirby: apparently someone wrote that as a review for some male testicular cancer model or something like that Drifty: who sells those things Drifty: http://www.amazon.com/Male-Testicular-Exam-Model-Anatomy/dp/B0006TYJV6/ref=cm_rdp_product Drifty: oh great god Hatkirby: "Is this something that happen" Hatkirby: oh god picture Drifty: Look at the reviews! Drifty: "it acts as a makeshift stress ball!" Drifty: in the grocery store Hatkirby: "It's a Bag Fulla Fun!" Hatkirby: oh god at the grocery store Drifty: "What is that you have ma am?" Hatkirby: "IMMA LITTLE STRESSED—LET'S PULL OUT THOSE BALLS!" Drifty: "A testicle teaching model with tumours!" Drifty: "It's my personal teddy bear" Hatkirby: "What is that you have, ma'am?" "They're my testicles!" Drifty: "wtf go away this grocery is for sane people" Drifty: Yes! Drifty: oh god Drifty: "Finally, a rubber scrotum that I can use for exam training purposes. My room mate was going "nuts" (pardon the pun) because I kept trying to use his. I wish he wasn't such a light sleeper. Oh well. " Hatkirby: "A must have for the avid teabagger!" Hatkirby: oh god lol: "I'm trying them out for TSA, too!" Drifty: oh god Drifty: lololol Hatkirby: "I'm a chick, but I purchased a pair of these for my next trip. When I refuse the cancer-causing body scanner I just know they'll want to frisk me, so I figured I'd give them something extra to grab. Oh I can't wait to see the look on the face of 67-IQ agent when she snatches onto to these babies!" Hatkirby: This is hilarious Drifty: I bet half of these are trolls Hatkirby: how can this be something that is sold Drifty: but oh god these are hilarious Drifty: what is this i don't even Hatkirby: omg lolpun: "It goes without saying that my male exam model has come in handy for so many things, but when a friend of mine told me about how he used his as a pouch for his teabags, my world was officially rocked. There's nothing like doing your own teabagging at home, especially side-by-side with a fellow enthusiast. The model makes for perfect teabags -- ample, hefty and oh the aroma! There's nothing like the slap, slap, slappy sound I make as I dip my exam model teabags -- It's my cup of tea!" Drifty: "Who doesn't love playing with scrotum? I know I do!" Hatkirby: "Now I can take a break from squeezing my own scrotum constantly and give the little bugger a breather." Hatkirby: dear god they're $147.44 Hatkirby: For a pair of TESTICLES with TUMORS? Drifty: I would think there are better models out there without the tumours Drifty: but still O.O Hatkirby: omg wtf are we talking about Drifty: WHAT Drifty: "Was excited to get mine in the mail. Unfortunately a mistake was made and I received the female version instead. Needless to say, I was shocked and uncomfortable. " Hatkirby: lololol one of the tags is "scientology" Hatkirby: LOLWHAT female version? Drifty: what Hatkirby: It's also tagged "uranium ore" Hatkirby: This is totally scientology! Drifty: "I will keep it in my purse for emergencies" Hatkirby: "badger sun screen spf 30" Drifty: what emergencies Drifty: what Hatkirby: Testicular emergencies! Hatkirby: "OH NO! FIRE! BREAK OUT THE TESTIES!" Hatkirby: *throws balls at fire* Drifty: "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I NEED! BALLS!" Hatkirby: "THAT JUST EXACERBATED THE PROBLEM!" Drifty: "NOW THE FIRES ARE HUNGRY!" Hatkirby: O_o one of the tags is "pacifier" Drifty: O_O_O_O_O_OO Hatkirby: SCARRED BABBY Hatkirby: lolol another tag is "dog treat" Hatkirby: "Here boy, want some balls?" Hatkirby: "RES REESE!" Drifty: oh god Drifty: a tag is 'male ego' lololol Drifty: wait Drifty: inafant developement?! Drifty: mini squirrel underpants?! Hatkirby: "harry potter"!??!!?!?!? Drifty: "fresh whole rabbit"?!! Drifty: I need to sit down... but I'm already sitting down! Hatkirby: "fashion accessory" Hatkirby: "I just got my new nuts! How fashionable!" Hatkirby: "I'M PARIS HILTON AND I HAVE NUTS. BUY NOW!" Drifty: oh dear Drifty: Oh god, "uranium ore" - it emits radiation RUUUN Hatkirby: RADIOACTIVE TESTICLES Hatkirby: "scientology" ftw Drifty: YES, CLEARLY A THING I NEED IN MY LIFe Drifty: o dont you know Hatkirby: "My new testicles tried to convert me to scientology!" Drifty: They worship testicles! Hatkirby: "OH GREAT TESTICLES, SHOW US HOW TO SUCK MORE IN OUR EVERY DAY LIVES" Drifty: lololololoololololooolol Hatkirby: this was a hilarious find Drifty: the cat is looking at me funny Hatkirby: He knows you're looking at balls! Drifty: one of the treasures of the internet Drifty: he likes balls Drifty: he doesn't have any of his own Hatkirby: Awww, poor Pumpkin Drifty: :P Drifty: in both ways Hatkirby: "WUZZAT? BALLS? MEOWMEOWMEOW?" Drifty: He sat on me earlier Hatkirby: oh god nyan.cat with balls: "BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS" Drifty: I just lay down and was just about to get up when "MEOW" Drifty: oh god Drifty: DOUBLE TESTICLES ALL THE WAY Hatkirby: popped in there somehow Drifty: why are we talking about this
Lan: Hi Erin! Lan: What brings you to this part of town? Lan: No one's anwering me anymore T_T tedgarb: sorry tedgarb: we are watching EqG clips Lan: we? Eridanbot: we are watching EqG clips tedgarb: me and Erin Lan: why did eridanbot say anything? tedgarb: iunno murgatroid99: it saved what ed said, and then responded when you asked tedgarb: we are who we are murgatroid99: we? Eridanbot: we are watching EqG clips tedgarb: oh god tedgarb: this bot
#467Up+26/-30DownSeptember 25 2011 at 06:30:19 pm EDT
Старла Эппрет: Oh my, integrals Старла Эппрет: don't know that yet Drifty: It's... integral to the subject Drifty: kill me now* Старла Эппрет: heehee Старла Эппрет: I don't want to ruin Calc for me but I WANT TO KNOW WHAT AN INTEGRAL ISSSSS Drifty: An integral is antidifferenti- SPOILERS Старла Эппрет: NOOOO Drifty: DUMBLEDORE KILLED SNAPE Старла Эппрет: WITH ROSEBUD Drifty: THE ONE IS NEO Старла Эппрет: AND IT TURNS OUT IT WAS JUST A HALLUCINATION INDUCED BY SPOILED MILK Drifty: IT WAS MARS ALL ALONG Drifty: THEY DIE Старла Эппрет: The En—ANTIDERIVATIVE Drifty: THE ANTIDERIVATIVE KILLED DUMBLEDORE Старла Эппрет: WITH A SLOPE THAT HAS A SECRET PSAT Старла Эппрет: OR PAST Старла Эппрет: GOD PSAT IS SO MUCH BETTER Drifty: I have a dark and shadowing psat Старла Эппрет: STANDARDIZED TESTS OH NOOO Старла Эппрет: The antiderivative somehow found its way onto THE PSAT Старла Эппрет: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN Старла Эппрет: ALL THOSE SOPHOMORES ARE SO CONFUZED Старла Эппрет: that totally looks like I spelled it wrong Старла Эппрет: THE CONFUZED IS SO CONFUSED
#472Up+23/-27DownOctober 27 2011 at 03:01:25 am EDT
<transkatie> You know what's just about the second-most-awesome male first name ever? Samson. Yeah/ <transkatie> And then I will have two sons so I can name the second Samson <@Frowardd> and the first? <transkatie> and he will say "MOMMY WHY IS MY NAME SAMSON" and I will say "Babby when you came out of das vagina you had hair which was freakishly long!" <transkatie> Frowardd: The first is obviously Alex, the most awesome male first name ever <@Frowardd> for my money, I'd go with Ulysses <OptimisticCynic> Ulysses is a badass name <Sigma> #xkcd-horseporn <transkatie> Вы мама is a badass name
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You and the stranger both like homestuck. You: KARKLEYP00 You: THIS IS R0SE HUMAN You: BEING R0SE HUMAN LIKE ALWAYS You: 0F C0URSE Stranger: DO YOU THINK I'M THAT STUPID? You: i am r0se human and i l0ve y0u You: yessss i d00000 You: its amazing Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING You: i am busting y0ur balls You: attaching dynamite t0 them and bl0wing them up You: where are y0ur balls n0w You: theyre g0ne You: i expl0ded them Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: 0h it is fun t0 be reb0rn You: i hacked int0 r0ses acc0unt! h0w pr0ud are y0u Stranger: WHY WOULD I BE PROUD? Stranger: IT'S OBVIOUS IT WAS YOU FUCKASS You: 0h wait thats right y0u have n0 balls anym0re You: y0u cann0t be pr0ud Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!? You: i f00led y0u and y0u kn0w it!\ Stranger: I HAVE MY FUCKING BALLS Stranger: AND YOU'RE STILL DUMB, FUCKASS You: karkat y0u make me guffaw You: this silly thing y0u are d0ing You: this leadering thing You: y0u need to get better at it Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: a bunch 0f us are being purp0sefully insub0rdinate Stranger: I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHIN-- WHAT!? You: and hacking int0 human acc0unts You: teehee You: and were g0ing to fight jack all by 0ur little selves Stranger: YOU GUYS ARE JUST FUCKING IDIOTS! You: its g0ing t0 be a smash Stranger: YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID. You: hahahaha Stranger: YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER! You: y0u led us int0 a mete0r 0h wise and great leader! You: and then gamzee started killing every0ne! Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! You: the few 0f us that are left are sick 0f it Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT EITHER! You: have fun with y0ur expl0ded balls Stranger: WHAT!? You: were 0ut 0f here! Stranger: FINE! Stranger: I'LL JUST BE A LEADER ON MY OWN! You: y0u have fun with that Stranger: I DON'T NEED YOU FUCKERS! You: send me a human p0stcard You: telling me all ab0ut it You: because You: I TRICKED YOU YOU BASTARD You: I'M JOHN Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: ON ROSE'S COMPUTER You: THIS IS HILARIOUS Stranger: WHAT!? Stranger: FUCK YOU JOHN You: OH MY GOD Stranger: I-I KNEW IT WAS YOU FUCKASS! You: IF I HAD A VIEWPORT AND COULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE Stranger: SHUT UP! Stranger: I KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Stranger: FUCK YOU! You: I'm so happy you were here to marry your ass You: Bye KARKLES have fun with your insubordination! You have disconnected.