User: Karkat Vantas. Cleverbot: Terezi Pyrope. User: No, ME. Cleverbot: You ally or horde? User: Karkat loves me. Cleverbot: Equius Zahak. User: Nooooooo he's not right for me. Cleverbot: No hi or hey. User: What are you talking about. Cleverbot: What are you talking about? User: My one true love, Karkat Vantas. Cleverbot: Oooh I love you dear. User: KARKAT DEAREST, IS THAT YOU? Cleverbot: Well I am pretty bored right now and I can't think of what to do. User: Now you're just screwing with me. Cleverbot: No I'm not! User: Okay, then, where do you want to go for dinner tonight? Cleverbot: I don't want to date you. User: BUT KARKLES I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL. Cleverbot: Well, you have a new friend now! User: Please touch my butt. Cleverbot: I don't know I have xbox live.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You and the stranger both like homestuck. You: :33 < meow meow meow! Stranger: Awww You: :33 < i come with great piles of cabbage if anyone wants some Stranger: Hi Nepeta~ You: :33 < whats going on You: :33 < i heard some loud noises outside Stranger: o.o You: :33 < and possibly karkat yelling at people but i tune that out now!!! You: :33 < h33h33 it happens so much You: :33 < *nepeta eats some of the cabbage* Stranger: *sits next to her* You: :33 < *nepeta tries to irradiate and fails* You: :33 < *nepeta starts flying and gains magical powers* You: :33 < *nepeta turns into LORD ENGLISH OH SHIT* You: KILLING EVERYONE TIME You: AFSDUGHUWEHVGYFUSHBINFOASFHBDYFTDSUOBFIODNSNFBVDSFTDSUOYFIDS You have disconnected.
Drifty: it is so unreasonably cold here Hatkirby: “WOW!” writes LeeAnne, “what a difference they have made in my life. No longer do I quake with fear at the slightest stressor. I am able to stride forward in my life with confidence…the kind of confidence that only a set of hairless, tumor-riddled testicles can give you.” Drifty: what Hatkirby: *lols* Hatkirby: I'm reading an article about funny Amazon reviews Hatkirby: apparently someone wrote that as a review for some male testicular cancer model or something like that Drifty: who sells those things Drifty: http://www.amazon.com/Male-Testicular-Exam-Model-Anatomy/dp/B0006TYJV6/ref=cm_rdp_product Drifty: oh great god Hatkirby: "Is this something that happen" Hatkirby: oh god picture Drifty: Look at the reviews! Drifty: "it acts as a makeshift stress ball!" Drifty: in the grocery store Hatkirby: "It's a Bag Fulla Fun!" Hatkirby: oh god at the grocery store Drifty: "What is that you have ma am?" Hatkirby: "IMMA LITTLE STRESSED—LET'S PULL OUT THOSE BALLS!" Drifty: "A testicle teaching model with tumours!" Drifty: "It's my personal teddy bear" Hatkirby: "What is that you have, ma'am?" "They're my testicles!" Drifty: "wtf go away this grocery is for sane people" Drifty: Yes! Drifty: oh god Drifty: "Finally, a rubber scrotum that I can use for exam training purposes. My room mate was going "nuts" (pardon the pun) because I kept trying to use his. I wish he wasn't such a light sleeper. Oh well. " Hatkirby: "A must have for the avid teabagger!" Hatkirby: oh god lol: "I'm trying them out for TSA, too!" Drifty: oh god Drifty: lololol Hatkirby: "I'm a chick, but I purchased a pair of these for my next trip. When I refuse the cancer-causing body scanner I just know they'll want to frisk me, so I figured I'd give them something extra to grab. Oh I can't wait to see the look on the face of 67-IQ agent when she snatches onto to these babies!" Hatkirby: This is hilarious Drifty: I bet half of these are trolls Hatkirby: how can this be something that is sold Drifty: but oh god these are hilarious Drifty: what is this i don't even Hatkirby: omg lolpun: "It goes without saying that my male exam model has come in handy for so many things, but when a friend of mine told me about how he used his as a pouch for his teabags, my world was officially rocked. There's nothing like doing your own teabagging at home, especially side-by-side with a fellow enthusiast. The model makes for perfect teabags -- ample, hefty and oh the aroma! There's nothing like the slap, slap, slappy sound I make as I dip my exam model teabags -- It's my cup of tea!" Drifty: "Who doesn't love playing with scrotum? I know I do!" Hatkirby: "Now I can take a break from squeezing my own scrotum constantly and give the little bugger a breather." Hatkirby: dear god they're $147.44 Hatkirby: For a pair of TESTICLES with TUMORS? Drifty: I would think there are better models out there without the tumours Drifty: but still O.O Hatkirby: omg wtf are we talking about Drifty: WHAT Drifty: "Was excited to get mine in the mail. Unfortunately a mistake was made and I received the female version instead. Needless to say, I was shocked and uncomfortable. " Hatkirby: lololol one of the tags is "scientology" Hatkirby: LOLWHAT female version? Drifty: what Hatkirby: It's also tagged "uranium ore" Hatkirby: This is totally scientology! Drifty: "I will keep it in my purse for emergencies" Hatkirby: "badger sun screen spf 30" Drifty: what emergencies Drifty: what Hatkirby: Testicular emergencies! Hatkirby: "OH NO! FIRE! BREAK OUT THE TESTIES!" Hatkirby: *throws balls at fire* Drifty: "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I NEED! BALLS!" Hatkirby: "THAT JUST EXACERBATED THE PROBLEM!" Drifty: "NOW THE FIRES ARE HUNGRY!" Hatkirby: O_o one of the tags is "pacifier" Drifty: O_O_O_O_O_OO Hatkirby: SCARRED BABBY Hatkirby: lolol another tag is "dog treat" Hatkirby: "Here boy, want some balls?" Hatkirby: "RES REESE!" Drifty: oh god Drifty: a tag is 'male ego' lololol Drifty: wait Drifty: inafant developement?! Drifty: mini squirrel underpants?! Hatkirby: "harry potter"!??!!?!?!? Drifty: "fresh whole rabbit"?!! Drifty: I need to sit down... but I'm already sitting down! Hatkirby: "fashion accessory" Hatkirby: "I just got my new nuts! How fashionable!" Hatkirby: "I'M PARIS HILTON AND I HAVE NUTS. BUY NOW!" Drifty: oh dear Drifty: Oh god, "uranium ore" - it emits radiation RUUUN Hatkirby: RADIOACTIVE TESTICLES Hatkirby: "scientology" ftw Drifty: YES, CLEARLY A THING I NEED IN MY LIFe Drifty: o dont you know Hatkirby: "My new testicles tried to convert me to scientology!" Drifty: They worship testicles! Hatkirby: "OH GREAT TESTICLES, SHOW US HOW TO SUCK MORE IN OUR EVERY DAY LIVES" Drifty: lololololoololololooolol Hatkirby: this was a hilarious find Drifty: the cat is looking at me funny Hatkirby: He knows you're looking at balls! Drifty: one of the treasures of the internet Drifty: he likes balls Drifty: he doesn't have any of his own Hatkirby: Awww, poor Pumpkin Drifty: :P Drifty: in both ways Hatkirby: "WUZZAT? BALLS? MEOWMEOWMEOW?" Drifty: He sat on me earlier Hatkirby: oh god nyan.cat with balls: "BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS" Drifty: I just lay down and was just about to get up when "MEOW" Drifty: oh god Drifty: DOUBLE TESTICLES ALL THE WAY Hatkirby: popped in there somehow Drifty: why are we talking about this
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You and the stranger both like homestuck. You: KARKLEYP00 You: THIS IS R0SE HUMAN You: BEING R0SE HUMAN LIKE ALWAYS You: 0F C0URSE Stranger: DO YOU THINK I'M THAT STUPID? You: i am r0se human and i l0ve y0u You: yessss i d00000 You: its amazing Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING You: i am busting y0ur balls You: attaching dynamite t0 them and bl0wing them up You: where are y0ur balls n0w You: theyre g0ne You: i expl0ded them Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: 0h it is fun t0 be reb0rn You: i hacked int0 r0ses acc0unt! h0w pr0ud are y0u Stranger: WHY WOULD I BE PROUD? Stranger: IT'S OBVIOUS IT WAS YOU FUCKASS You: 0h wait thats right y0u have n0 balls anym0re You: y0u cann0t be pr0ud Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!? You: i f00led y0u and y0u kn0w it!\ Stranger: I HAVE MY FUCKING BALLS Stranger: AND YOU'RE STILL DUMB, FUCKASS You: karkat y0u make me guffaw You: this silly thing y0u are d0ing You: this leadering thing You: y0u need to get better at it Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: a bunch 0f us are being purp0sefully insub0rdinate Stranger: I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHIN-- WHAT!? You: and hacking int0 human acc0unts You: teehee You: and were g0ing to fight jack all by 0ur little selves Stranger: YOU GUYS ARE JUST FUCKING IDIOTS! You: its g0ing t0 be a smash Stranger: YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID. You: hahahaha Stranger: YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER! You: y0u led us int0 a mete0r 0h wise and great leader! You: and then gamzee started killing every0ne! Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! You: the few 0f us that are left are sick 0f it Stranger: THAT WASN'T MY FAULT EITHER! You: have fun with y0ur expl0ded balls Stranger: WHAT!? You: were 0ut 0f here! Stranger: FINE! Stranger: I'LL JUST BE A LEADER ON MY OWN! You: y0u have fun with that Stranger: I DON'T NEED YOU FUCKERS! You: send me a human p0stcard You: telling me all ab0ut it You: because You: I TRICKED YOU YOU BASTARD You: I'M JOHN Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK You: ON ROSE'S COMPUTER You: THIS IS HILARIOUS Stranger: WHAT!? Stranger: FUCK YOU JOHN You: OH MY GOD Stranger: I-I KNEW IT WAS YOU FUCKASS! You: IF I HAD A VIEWPORT AND COULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE Stranger: SHUT UP! Stranger: I KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Stranger: FUCK YOU! You: I'm so happy you were here to marry your ass You: Bye KARKLES have fun with your insubordination! You have disconnected.
Drifty: IN MINECRAFT Hatkirby: I AM GOD AND I AM MAKING SOME PENISES Hatkirby: BUT I WILL NOT PUT THEM ON PEOPLE NO I'M JUST PUTTING THEM ON THE LANDSCAPE Drifty: My mom is looking at the scren Drifty: Her cheeks are touching mine Drifty: HELP Hatkirby: We are good kids. Hatkirby: Everything is beautiful Hatkirby: I love picking flowers Hatkirby: with my lesbian lover Drifty Hatkirby: Yay cereal Drifty: You just gave my mom a pretend heart attack Hatkirby: lololol Drifty: She's gone, hurrah Hatkirby: Now let's do the dance of the Germans! Drifty: what * Hatkirby hops along awkwardly and accidentally invades Poland Drifty: oh dear Drifty: YOU DIDN"T FORGET POLAND Drifty: LIKE, THAT IS TOTALLY UNCOOL Drifty: Poland is a valley girl now Drifty: He likes dressing in skirts Hatkirby: Poland, The Valley Girl Hatkirby: Poland The Valley Transvestite? Drifty: And ponies Drifty: Yeah why not "{ Drifty: :P Hatkirby: I feel a song coming out of this Drifty: Oh dear Hatkirby: p-p-p-p-poland likes to d-d-d-d-dress in skirts Hatkirby: oh my god, oh oh oh my god god oh my god god oh oh oh my god god Hatkirby: Germany stop invaaaading me Hatkirby: YOu are so inappropriate, stop touching me there Drifty: Oh dear oh dear oh loll
Hatkirby: Why does iTunes think Opheliac is Classical Hatkirby: I mean what Drifty: lolol Hatkirby: It may have been decieved by the intro to Opheliac (song) Drifty: wait does itunes actually listen to the song Hatkirby: I really like the stripped down part of Swallow Hatkirby: YESSSS iTUNES IS SENTIENT Hatkirby: like I-Calcium Hatkirby: What is iTunes? That's like asking what birds are. What are birds? We just don't know. Drifty: Thank you, iTunes. iAnts. Hatkirby: :P Hatkirby: iTunes, as far as we know, can only store up to 45,000,000,000 songs Hatkirby: Could there be a 45,000,000,001th song?
Veronica: when it is time for me to graduate will you buy me a space heater for my box Starla: What's a space heater, what box, and is there a kitten in the box Starla: OMG KITTENS IN A BOX Starla: no sorry Veronica: YES KITTENS IN A BOX Veronica: okay wow THE LIBRARY INTERNET WONT LET ME OPEN UP PICTURES OF KITTENS IN A BOX Veronica: wow because kittens in a box = porn for sure Starla: lol Starla: "hey other kittens look at my box" Starla: That was the worst thing I've ever said. Starla: I think that was a direct ticket to kitten pornography hell. Veronica: kitten pornography hell? that sounds like a worse place than even 4chan is Starla: It probably is
Hatkirby: The Drifty looks like she thinks her dress has pockets and is desperately trying to hide her hands Drifty: lolololol Hatkirby: ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE A GUN?!?!? Drifty: YES Hatkirby: DON'T KILL SAM Drifty: I HAD A GUN Drifty: i just wonder sometimes if there are creepy people who go on these websites and are like "MAN LOOK AT ALL THESE YOUNG PEOPLE DRESSED UP LIKE OLD PEOPLE" Drifty: I didn't intend on ending my sentence like that Drifty: but it ended Hatkirby: "MAN THAT'S SOME SEXY POCKET ACTION GOING ON THERE" Hatkirby: "I WONDER IF THAT GIRL IS CONCEALING A GUN" Hatkirby: "I AM A PEDOPHILE" Hatkirby: "BBY" Drifty: "I LIKE CONCEALED GUNS" Drifty: wait why are the guys all into pocket action Drifty: It looks awkwardly cute Hatkirby: It is awkwardly cute Drifty: Does the photographer have a fetish for pockets Drifty: Is that even a thing? Hatkirby: "Man that is a sexy pocket, I bet you could fit an entire hand in there!" Drifty: or a gun Hatkirby: "perhaps a penis" /NO Drifty: HEY GUYS I HAVE AN EXTRA PENIS IN MY POCKET Hatkirby: DOES ANYONE WANT IT Drifty: ANYBODY WANT ONE Hatkirby: ANY LESBIANS IN THE HOUSE NEED A TWO WAY DILDO
ae2cd6d7131fc037: sup Starla: WHAT'S HAPPENING 9c142daf11265abb: yay ae2cd6d7131fc037: see, this is probably a better way Starla: I'M TALKING TO TWO VERY LONG HEX NUMBERS Starla: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE Starla: I WILL NOT GIVE IN Starla: MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER IS SOME NUMBER ae2cd6d7131fc037: I'm a girl! ae2cd6d7131fc037: :P Starla: WHAT'S POISON CONTROL Starla: HERE'S THE BABY 9c142daf11265abb: none of this tedium of private convo Starla: SHE GONE!